Originally uploaded by -:-:-:-

Title: Hope for a Hopeless Failure [By Elisabeth Elliot]

Olive trees are not much good for leaning against.  Too knobby.  I kick
away a few stones and sit down on the ground, knees braced in my arms.
The other two stand for a while, eyeing the one who has gone off alone.

“Might as well sit down,” I say.  They don’t answer.

Long day.  Tired.  I look up through the trees.  Ragged clouds, thin moon.
Enough wind to move the olive leaves.  My head’s too heavy to hold up.  I
stare at my old sandals, one of them with a loose thong.  Then I notice my
feet and remember–at supper– “altogether clean.”  Dusty again now, but
they were clean, all right.  Never had them so clean.  “Do you understand
what I have done for you?” he asked.  Maybe the rest understood.  Not me.
And what was all that about being slaves?

My two friends sit down a little way off.  Can’t hear much of the
onversation (they’re almost whispering).  His body.  His blood.  (Strange
things he said to us tonight at the table.)  How he longed to eat with us,
but would never do it again–until . . . something about a kingdom.

Yawn.  Too tired to think now.  I push away a few more stones and lie down
in the grass.  No pillow.  Well, my arm will have to do.

What do I hear?  Not my friends–they’re flat out on the ground now, like
me.  Some movement.  Wind?  An animal?  No, over there, where he is.  A
sort of gasp, was it?  I strain my ears.  Can’t tell.  Maybe they can,
they’re nearer, but they don’t say anything.  Silence now.  Never mind.
Have a little snooze.

“Asleep, Simon?”  I jump.  He did ask us to stay awake, now that I think
of it.  He’s standing over us and here we all are, snoring away.  Poor
show.  “Pray that you may be spared the test.”  Yes, Lord.  (Test?)

He goes off again.  We sit up, shake ourselves.  (It’s colder now, my
tunic’s clammy with dew.)  We pray.  We can see, from the silhouette over
by the rock, that something is very wrong.  Wonder if we should do
something?  But he said stay here.

“You will all fall from your faith.”  We talk about that.  What could he
mean?  All of us? The other two lie down.  I sit here, thinking of what he
said to me–about Satan, sifting me like wheat.  He said he prayed
especially for me.  My faith fail?  I told him I’d even go to prison with
him.  Die, if it came to that.  Judas now–that’s another story.  Wonder
what he’s up to?  Left the table in an awful hurry.  Never did trust him.
Shifty-eyed.  Slick.

Ah-oh.  Must have fallen asleep again.  I can sense his presence, standing
close, but I’ll keep my eyes shut.  What can I say?  I wait.  He says
nothing, goes away.

“You awake?”  I poke the others.  I remember he told me I was to ”lend
strength to the brothers.”  They pull themselves up, and again we talk.
He said he was going away.  Somewhere where we could not come.  Peace . .
. Iove . . . the Prince of this world . . . persecution . . . the
breakdown of faith.  Doesn’t sound good.

“What’s that?”  (I’m the one who’s whispering now.)  A soft noise–like
wings.  There’s somebody there, bending over him in the moonlight.  We
peer through the trees.  Can’t tell who it is.  It’s not good, his being
here in this garden.  Too many people know they can find him here.  What!
Whoever was there has–why, vanished!  Just like that!  He is standing
now, his face lifted up.

“That’s the third time he’s prayed the same prayer,” my friend says.  I
didn’t hear it.

We keep talking, trying to stay awake this time.  He needs me, I guess.
We’d better be on our toes.  Not sure what’s going on.  Is he in danger?
But he doesn’t seem to know fear.  Has his own ways of getting out of
trouble when he wants to–remember the time he slipped through the crowd
that was about to dump him over the precipice?  Yes, but we told him this
time he ought not to come up to the city.  Bad timing.

What about what he said about our needing purse, pack, and sword now,
after sending us out barefoot, without a coin or a crust, the first time?
Said he had a good many other things he couldn’t tell us now, but would
send a spirit–Spirit of Truth, that was it–who would explain things that
were going to happen.

Hours go by.  We lose track of how long we talk.  Yawn, relax.

“Still sleeping?  Up, let’s go forward.”  On our feet like a shot.  What’s
happening?  “My betrayer is upon us.”  Mob surging through the garden.
Lanterns, torches, swords, cudgels.

“Master!  Here, quickly, get behind….”  He doesn’t hear me.  Walks
straight up to them.  ”What is it you want?”  I grab my sword, swing it
at one of the gang, only get his ear.

“Put up your sword,” he tells me.  “This is the cup the father has given
me.  Don’t you realize I must drink it?”

What could we do?  I follow him partway, but I can see it’s all over.  No
point getting involved.

Years have passed now.  The memory of what happened during the rest of
that night is still sharp.  A very dark night it was.  But could I know
what I know now, could I write things I write in my letters, if it had not
happened?

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who in his great
mercy gave us new birth into a living hope by the resurrection of Jesus
Christ from the dead! The inheritance to which we are born is one that
nothing can destroy or spoil or wither. It is kept for you in heaven, and
you, because you put your faith in God, are under the protection of his
power . . . (1 Peter 1:3-5 NEB).

I know that mercy.  I’ve been given that new birth.  A hopeless failure, I
know that living hope.  No one deserved them less than I.  No one can be
more grateful than I, to whom so much was forgiven.  Where would I be if
he had not risen?

Upon some points a believer is absolutely sure. He knows, for instance, that God sits in the stern-sheets of the vessel when it rocks most. He believes that an invisible hand is always on the world’s tiller, and that wherever providence may drift, Jehovah steers it. That reassuring knowledge prepares him for everything. He looks over the raging waters and sees the spirit of Jesus treading the billows, and he hears a voice saying, “It is I, be not afraid.” He knows too that God is always wise, and, knowing this, he is confident that there can be no accidents, no mistakes; that nothing can occur which ought not to arise. He can say, “If I should lose all I have, it is better that I should lose than have, if God so wills: the worst calamity is the wisest and the kindest thing that could befall to me if God ordains it.” “We know that all things work together for good to them that love God.” The Christian does not merely hold this as a theory, but he knows it as a matter of fact. Everything has worked for good as yet; the poisonous drugs mixed in fit proportions have worked the cure; the sharp cuts of the lancet have cleansed out the proud flesh and facilitated the healing. Every event as yet has worked out the most divinely blessed results; and so, believing that God rules all, that He governs wisely, that He brings good out of evil, the believer’s heart is assured, and he is enabled calmly to meet each trial as it comes. The believer can in the spirit of true resignation pray, “Send me what thou wilt, my God, so long as it comes from Thee; never came there an ill portion from Thy table to any of Thy children.”

“Say not my soul, ‘From whence can God relieve my care?
Remember that Omnipotence has servants everywhere.
His method is sublime, His heart profoundly kind,
God never is before His time, and never is behind.’”

-CHS, Morning and Evening

(i dont see the full distinction anyways… but that’s a whole other topic)

my life isnt something i’m gonna post a ton about right now

:collective sigh of relief:

you get pictures instead!

which are always more interesting than random facts whose only purpose are to fill in people who read blogs instead of actually talking to the person.

basically i’m resting a ton… get to see my sisters which is so kool… and people had spring break (yay)

…………

this is pretty much a random bunch of recent ones

amber + DC cemetery 

(i want to go here…)

tolkien:

(luthien’s escape)

bleach, hehe byakuya’s great

final fantasy…

crisis core looks kool

tifa sketch

yes. i know. this is kinda long, haha. but it’s also amazing. this is like… chapters 25-45′s promises/foreshadowings. throughout it, God’s calling Israel to repentance and prophesying judgment, but this is mostly what’s in between that.

and it’s so kool!!

…

O Lord, you are my God;
I will exalt you; I will praise your name,
for you have done wonderful things,
plans formed of old, faithful and sure.

…

On this mountain the Lord of hosts will make for all peoples
a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wine,
of rich food full of marrow, of aged wine well refined.
And he will swallow up on this mountain
the covering that is cast over all peoples,
the veil that is spread over all nations.
He will swallow up death forever;
and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces,
and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth,
for the Lord has spoken.
It will be said on that day,
‘Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us.
This is the Lord; we have waited for him;
let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.’”

…

“In that day the Lord with his hard and great and strong sword will punish Leviathan the fleeing serpent, Leviathan the twisting serpent, and he will slay the dragon that is in the sea.

For a people shall dwell in Zion, in Jerusalem; you shall weep no more. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry. As soon as he hears it, he answers you. And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher. And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left. Then you will defile your carved idols overlaid with silver and your gold-plated metal images. You will scatter them as unclean things. You will say to them, ‘Be gone!’ …Moreover, the light of the moon will be as the light of the sun, and the light of the sun will be sevenfold, as the light of seven days, in the day when the Lord binds up the brokenness of his people, and heals the wounds inflicted by his blow.

……

and on a different note…

10:30pm, me: “so what time are you gonna pick me up tomorrow?”

kaitie: “what? umm… we don’t have school, classes don’t start till 5″

haha yeessss… another 2 days of freedom =)

……

you gotta love 1-2nd samuel… haha the story about Dagon falling down before the ark of the Lord…